This 3 PART INTERVIEW occurred almost 20 years ago. Still, the essence, innovations, and hope shown in this interview with Arny are as important and new today as before. We need to re-think and learn more about how to connect deeply with people in vegetative and comatose states. Thanks to Jeffrey Mishlove for his help with this interview.
Part I.
Part II.
Part III.
0. Value feeling or meta-skills as much as skills
(See Amy’s Coma, A Healing Journey and Arny’s Coma, Key to Awakening for more) There are no firm procedures and may never be any fixed rules in working with people. Everything is a process; it depends upon the moment, people, belief systems, and feedback processes. However some of the tips we provide below may be useful for those who ponder what to do in near death states. Follow them if they are useful, but please don’t use these statements as commandments.
I. About Medications
At the appropriate time, when someone is nearing death, ask them if they prefer a lucid state (minimal drugs) in which they can track their experiences or a less-lucid state (more drugs). Left to themselves, the majority of people do not seem to use their lucidity in comatose or near coma-like states. This may be due in part to the lack of education about death and dying and the culture someone is living in. Giving more drugs –to make the “client” feel better– is a good idea. Remember that discovering the creativity trying to happen may enrich and facilitate the whole process. Hence there need be little conflict between using or not using medication; medications and awareness work together.
II. Effects of Lucidity
Everyone should know that as a general rule, the more complete the processes, the more restful and best for all.
III. Precision
For those “clients” choosing the lucid path, be absolutely precise as a helper and notice little tiny things and repeat them in one way or another.
IV. Wait and Notice
What you don’t t know, don’t t fill in with your everyday mind; wait for answers to happen. Only after positive feedback to what you have done, go on with what you are doing. Especially in comawork and in general, if the client asks you to play a part in their process, then you can or must use your own experiences as part of the overall process. You are needed as you are!
V. Agitation Just Before Death
To the surprise and terror of many helpers, clients near death seem to get agitated and try to fly or walk or even run from their bed. Helpful methods to work with this are to tell them you are going to fly or walk for them, and to ask them to “choreograph” you, if possible. Or, you can move their body or legs for them and ask them to imagine where they are going and what they are doing. Some folks tell you they are flying into the air, or reaching for the sun etc. (Actually helping someone out of bed is a very radical procedure and needs great care and expertise.)
VI. Respecting Death and dying is very important
Perhaps even more important however is respecting the process that is not necessarily time or space bound, here or there.
VII. About Attachment
If you are normal and attached and can’t t let go, then act that out, put on a little theater, show it to the other, and then you might be able to show letting go. Many feelings we have mirror submerged feelings the client has and is shy about showing.
VIII What to do Next?
Remember, you are the other. If your friend or client asked you to be there at the end, and you don’t know what to do, ask yourself what you would want in a given moment.
IX Special Situations. Young Children
When dealing with very young children, especially under the age of two, we have had good responses by playing very fast and/or very slow music and simultaneously, gently tapping on the feet in rhythm with the music. Depending upon the situation, half an hour, twice a day could be helpful.
The question often arises: “What is death?” In our experience, the answer depends upon the person. For some, it is a blissful altered state. For others it is meeting a departed loved one. For some it is a sense of the beauty of nature. And sometimes, near the end people say like the physicist Richard Feynman, “Not something you want to go through twice”.
We are enjoying reading the new and helpful books on Dementia, Coma and Eldership by Stan Tomandl and Tom Richards. See An Alzheimer’s Surprise Party and Eldership, A Celebration found at http://www.lulu.com/sentientcare. These books are both compassionate and practical.
We are touched by Jan Webster and her team’s “A Call to Consciousness, A four year report of ComaCare in South Africa.” Click here to see the comacare-four-year-report. We are thankful to hear from her that her work “reflects what you (A+A) have helped build”.
We are happy to see Dr. Pierre Morin’s investigation connecting the philosophical, medical, and process oriented viewpoints around the meaning of consciousness and connection with people in altered and comatose states”.
Download his original article in German: Prozessorientierte Kommunikation mit Menschen in VerÃnderten BewusstseinszustÃnden und Koma Pierre Morin, MD, Ph.D. (59Kb Word document)
We were pleased and thankful to have discovered the actor and director, Phelim McDermott, and his article about coma. Some of the process work background he speaks of is related to the work of Arlene and J.C. Audergon of London.
See the descriptions of Phelim’s show, COMA by the Improbable Theatre Company at http://www.improbable.co.uk/show_example.asp?item_id=4
The Death and Life of Dr. Sara Halprin, Nov. 10, 2006
We are sad to report that Dr. Sara Halprin died early this evening. At 6.30pm Portland Oregon time, November the 10th, our good friend, best author, wonderful teacher, exciting filmmaker, amazing colleague, creative therapist, inquiring student and spicy being, Sara Halprin has died. Thanks to Herb Long, her best friend and husband for being with her, helping to facilitate the following interaction. He did this in so many ways through the period of her 8 month illness and death. And thanks to Amy for having recorded the experiences below.
After her death, we dreamed she wanted to “be useful” to the public; and as a result, decided to publish her final words, as they included her interest in being of use to all.
One of her last (semi) verbal exchanges occurred while being with her as she tracked altered state experiences, finally becoming a magical bird. She called it “The Mallard”. We think she might like it if others knew of her experience, and her bird.
Here is a reportage of those experiences (as closely as we can remember.)
Herb: Arny, I’ll put the phone near Sara’s ear. Go ahead and speak, she will hear you.
Arny: Sara, so good to be with you, to hear your breath, your voice.
Sara: Yes. Perhaps I should get more therapy.
Arny: Why not. What would you do with your life if you could.
Sara: I want my life to be a useful one, for everyone.
Arny: The best way to make your life useful in the moment is to track your experiences, very few people are able to do that and give it to others.
Sara: (barely audible but mumbling, gasping a bit) O.K. I can’t breathe too well, my heart is racing. My hand is jittering, jittering.
Arny: Herb and Sara, perhaps Sara can try to sit up just a bit, not too much, that may ease the strain on your breathing and heart.
Sara: (Breathing easier) Ah, that is better.
Arny: Sara, make little hand motions that go with that jitter
Sara: Ohhhh, mmmm. Now I feel relaxed. (quietness..)
Arny: What do you notice now?
Sara: Ohhhh, the neck, Arny, it is moving, jittering, now I’m falling away, falling backwards, like nothing.. falling into empty space.
Arny: If you fell somewhere where would you like to fall?
Sara: I am falling into nothingness.
Arny: Sounds ok. You can choose where you’d like to go. That might be your best medicine.
Sara: (after a few seconds) I can make a choice as to where I want to go? Now I’m losing my senses, I’m free and floating.
Arny: Just feel that.
Sara: I don’t know, I’m disappointed.
Arny: If you âre disappointed, that means you know where you want to go and aren’t . Would you like to go into the arms of something taking care of you? The Seashore? Or to Mars?
Sara: Someplace I’m needed.
Arny: You are very much needed..
Sara: OK, I’m falling backwards again, falling out and I’m a nobody and there’s a bird, the water’s edge.
Arny: What kind of bird?
Sara: It’s a pigeon, no, it’s a duck, ahhh, it’s a mallard! It’s a mallard!
Arny: You’re needed as a duck floating on the water.
Sara: Ohhhh.
Arny: Would you like me to sing you a duck song?
Sara: Yes, please.
Arny: (In Swiss German Alli mini Entli schwimmed uf em See, schwimmed uf em Seeâ€. (translated approximately into English) All my little ducks, swimming on the lake, swimming on the lake, put their little heads in the water, and their little tails up high. That’s a Swiss children’s song. Did you like it?
Sara: Ohhhh YES!!
Arny: Well, you are a duck, a mallard at the water’s edge.
Sara: Ummmm. Yes! And it’s head is moving back and forth. It’s amazing.*
Arny: Enjoy being a mallard, it was so good being with you.
Sara: Oh yes! Good Bye.
Everyone is silent.
Herb: Thanks Arny, and good bye.
———————————————
* Thinking back upon the experiences of this amazingly wonderful and lucid woman, we can say that what began as a hand-arm-body tremor, was from the inner viewpoint, apparently the beginning of the Mallard.
Natasha’s Last Performance
This picture of Natasha Docker was taken at her presentation of the story, ‘The Bird in the Fire’, Portland, Oregon June 2004. She completed that story January 1, 2005, ten days before she died. We wrote the following about her last process with us, because she wanted her work to be seen by others. We also wrote this up because some of the people closest to her at the time of her death, told us about how she moved back and forth between the left and right (life and death, see below) and that she died on the right side.
From the feelings of sadness and amazement, we immediately wrote this almost unedited letter January 11, 2005, to everyone on our local process work string. Many in the community had loved Natasha.
Natasha’s living and dying process. Thanks to Peter Irving and everyone for having cared so lovingly, honored and followed, danced and wept with Natasha as she went through her amazing dance. She dreamed about going back to a “Dreamtime Mob”, and described that to us as the process work community of friends, as you, those who have been so close to her and around her. She would like you to be honored, and so we are thank you all from her and our hearts. Thank you again for your loving, feisty, tender caring. At the same time, we must remain awestruck by the life and death of Natasha.
Dear Natasha, crowded together with 15 other people in your hotel room that January the first, we recall the following. There you were, here with us in Yachats, when we saw you ten days ago. You blew us away. We remember your warm greeting, then entering your hotel room, seeing you curled up in your seat waiting for us.
Then we recall working with you. You said that your process was “between life and death”. We remember beginning to work with you. True to your courageous seer’s spirit, we recall being detached but at the same time attached and amazed by your amazing physical and mental clarity and “wellness,” how you wanted to work on what you called the “struggle between life and death. ” We said, “Which way is your process heading?” You moved your hands together first to the right side –that was death, and then slowly to the left side —that you said was life. Then we asked you to follow your process and see what happened next. We all sat and meditated with you. Then you said, “oh…drugs make me slide”. So we said, “slide, slide, and slide”. And slide you did, over to the left into life!
“OK”, we said, “let’s get into life”. You said, “YES! And what about my creative project to present my story in theater form about “Bird in the Fire”?”
OK we said, that is your next step…but then following your amazing energy, we noticed you move. So we said, let’s get up and forget this death thing for a moment and get on with the theater. And indeed, with immense vitality, you arose to your feet, got your crutch, and then began to direct all of us who were stuffed into that little hotel room. How awesome.
What a choreographer!! You had us all stand. What a scene. Amy became you, moving through the forest. Many others played the trees in the forest. Arny was to be the ally, warrior. Amy moved hesitantly (as you) through the trees, met the warrior. Then Amy took Heiko’s yellow crutch, which you said was the golden tree that was to guide Amy through her journey through the dark forest with the help of her tree of light.
It seemed like the theater piece was done, but no, you as the director got right up, marched over to where Amy was standing upright, at the edge of the forest facing the Pacific ocean more or less alone, and you took her “golden tree”(the yellow crutch) and continued marching on forwards into time with a kind of pride and beauty. Standing in the room, we all stood in back of you while you were in front of us facing the sea. It is not saying enough to say that some of us were stunned and touched by your immense ability at moving through time and space so courageously with your golden tree shining the way.
Well, you said you wanted to produce this show for the community and everyone. Peter Irving was so good as to video the latter part of this work. And so dearest Natasha, that is why we are now giving folks a bit of a preview of your show, that we may all see it at another point in space and time, whenever.
May your golden tree be forever shining the way, and may it help each and every one of us still bound to the gravity of the earth, stuck in occasional darkness, needing that light of yours moving through everything and anything.
Thank you thank you dear one. We all love you dearly, and some of us have no sense of your passing, but of your being even more present than ever before right with us in this moment, with your golden tree shining and pointing the way for us, wherever it may go with us. In some senses you are further than ever, and in another, closer then ever. There is no substitute for giving you a hug, and at the same time, there is.
Thank you for your gifts.
Love amy and arny
Photo of Natasha painting taken by taken by Kara Wilde Kara@creativehealing.org